The past week and a half has definitely not gone the way that I had envisioned it would. I hoped that I would be in the middle of a whirlwind of ministry, traveling to various schools training students and coaches to do FCA, and leading Bible studies. However, that has not been the case and I have pretty much been confined to my house, the doctors office of the hospital.
For about two weeks I have been having a lot of pain that gradually got worse and worse. Pain when I sat and pain when I moved. Friday night a week ago I was in bad enough pain that went to urgent care. Unfortunately they misdiagnosed and the meds they gave me did nothing to help me. By Sunday, a week ago today, I was in such bad pain that I had my wife take me to the emergency room where I spent most of the day. While the ER was not able to totally fix me up they were able to give me pain meds and make it a lot easier for me to deal. Finally, on Tuesday I met with a surgeon who diagnosed my issue and set up surgery on Wednesday. It turns out I had a problem called a fistula. I’ll let you google that and find out what all that means, but I warn you not to look at the pictures. So Wednesday, I had outpatient surgery which went well, but now I have to go back and meet with the surgeon again, set up a time for a colonoscopy, and make a plan for what comes next.
Since Wednesday evening, I have been at home on bedrest. The good news is that I am slowly starting to feel a little better and move around some. While there is still pain, I am in nowhere near the amount of pain that I was in before the surgery. And hopefully this week I will be able to get out among the living and while not at 100% at least be able to do some things.
The good thing to come out of this is first of all that I have been forced to get some rest. When you are stuck in bed and on pain meds that make you sleepy, you sleep. So for the first time in awhile I feel refreshed as far as sleep goes. The second good thing that has actually been the best thing is once again being forced to rely more on God. This first came into play with just being in pain and having to pray and pray and pray to be delivered from the pain I was in. Then more prayer for doctors, surgery, healing and everything going on in my body that I don’t fully understand right now.
I have also been forced to depend on God through all the worry, discouragement, and depression that Satan has been throwing at me. Worries such as worry about how I am going to pay for all these medical bills and what am I going to do about our family’s financial support for ministry which is not at 100%. Worries about important meetings and Bible studies that I am missing while being stuck at home. In times when I should be encouraged by the awesome friends that God has given me me that have called and texted to check on me, I’ve found Satan trying to discourage me with the fact that I am stuck inside and had no friends visit. Depressed that I just haven’t been able to be up interacting and enjoying my family. I don’t list these things to be whiney or to elicit sympathy, but to be honest about lots of the things going on in my mind right now. And then to also let you know that my God is bigger than all these issues. He will meet all my medical and financial needs. He has given me great friends and will give me more. God will take care of all my meetings and Bible studies. Whether that being letting them go on without me or rescheduling them. He will allow me to be a good Dad and Husband to my family. Instead of letting the stillness and forced time of rest drive me nuts with discouragement from Satan, I have to remind myself that God says I need to be still and know He is is God. Nothing is to big or small for Him. He will never leave me nor forsake me.
So please pray for me that I will seek God deeper each day, even when this health issue is over. Pray that I will get healthy soon and get back to just being able to do and enjoy life without pain. Pray for the issues that Satan has thrown at me to worry about, that God would meet those needs and I would continue to trust He will do so. And lastly that even though it’s hard I would enjoy being able to rest!